Lessons from my pussy

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  1. Take a nap. Sleep is as important to good health as exercise and eating. Yet it’s associated all too often with laziness. Instagram and Facebook feeds are filled with news of everyone’s great runs and smoothie concoctions, but not many are boasting about their sleep. Recently, I slept in until 10am on a Friday morning and truthfully, this is not the norm. I had been dealing with a toothache all week, and I was exhausted. A friend had messaged me at 8am, and I didn’t get the message until 10 when I woke up. I actually hesitated before I texted Hey! sorry I missed this! I just woke up! I didn’t want her to think I was lazy. Last year, I took a course on the psychology of sleep and sweet Jesus if you knew how big a deal sleep was you’d all be curling up under the blankies a little more often! Decreases the risk of heart disease and stroke, increases your chances to live longer, HELPS YOU LOSE WEIGHT, combats depression, improves athletic performance, and the list goes on and on. For your body’s own sake, take your pussy and have a nap today.
  2. Groom yourself. Every pussy loves and needs a groom. Every.
  3. Say no. My pussy has a mind of her own, and if she doesn’t want to be bothered she’ll let you know. Without regret or guilt. Without apology. And she expects no hard feelings. She thinks I’ll love her no matter what, even when she says NO. And she is right.
  4. Be curious. about everything. question. discover. learn. get in the box and then out. try the corner of the closet and the top of the fridge. Nothing is out of bounds. Find out what it is. what it means. GROW.
  5. Be patient. Don’t jump too fast. Be picky. Wait. Prepare. Explore your options. Forget instant potatoes. They suck compared to the kind that you peel and chop and boil and blend. Homemade mashed potatoes. Worth the wait. Besides, the patient pussy catches the fly.
  6. Play. Why do we grow up and stop playing? I don’t mean competitive play, rather, just play for the sake of playing. Society dismisses play for adults, honouring only the kind that is competitive. Work is paramount, so much so that it’s difficult to separate our identities from what we do. Take some time. Chase the light. You and your pussy.
  7. Purr. In human terms, say thanks. Thank you. for the food. and sunshine. for coffee. and love. thank you for grace. without grace, where would we be? thank you for life. Even when it rains, life is purrfect compared to death.
  8. Love your enemies. Juniper (my pussy) always picks the cat hater in the room. Joy, my allergic friend, is her favourite visitor. Juniper checks Joy out, sniffs her and sometimes cuddles up near her. She be like You don’t have to love me; but you’re gonna’ at least tolerate me. And Joy is quite taken. And they’re friends from afar.
  9. Land on your feet. Life is full of disappointment and failure. Don’t give up. I’ve seen June fall from the fridge, do several backward flips, take a plant down on top of her, and land on her feet. Falling means you’re trying. and taking risks. JUST GET UP. One of these days, you’re gonna’ take a smooth jump from the fridge, no back flips, no plants and mud. Skyrocket in flight. Your moment.

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